Submissive wives, faithful husbands and other fairy tales

By Jane Osoro

Think of your favourite verse. Meditated on it for a minute. what about it makes it special to you. Now imagine if what it said was a lie, what if everything there in was not as it seemed? But the encouragement, hope, wisdom and clarity you have found in that verse are so tangible. The aspects of who God is and our relationship to Him are so real from what you read. You have recited those words over and over in many a dark times, you have in faith prayed through that passage and those words have been a continued anchor and reassurance of the promises god has spoken to you about this life and eternity. In other words, the Word of God is true, sure and comes out unmoved when put to the test.

So then dearly beloved sisters, why do we live as though what God has said about marriage is a lie? Mothers why are you telling us men are not to be trusted, not to get married to men who you perceive to be poor, and that marriage “ni kuvumilia”( very different from patience or endurance)? Younger sisters why are you already planning how you will leave your husband, even before you have a boyfriend, holding a prepared list of all the things that would be the bare minimum for you to walk out the door. Why is the only difference in the way we conduct our relationships as married couples in the church, different from that of the world, in our church attendance on sunday and a quick prayer before bed.

God created marriage and intended it for good, and for our enjoyment. He holds this relationship so highly that it is to be a reflection of His relationship to us, His church. Could therein then lay the heart of the matter. Because of how much weight towards eternal matters, this relationship holds, the enemy fights it with all he has. On the other side of the coin we have become very blase with our faith, often tossed every which way with varying doctrines. How then are we able to put the faith, patience and all round necessary work towards building a Godly marriage, when we are not willing to do the same in our walk with Christ.

You see, if I believe that the Lord is my shepherd, and that because of that I am well taken care of and that I need not fear anything, in fact He will see to it that I come out victorious before my enemies… Then I must believe that Submission to my husband is from Him and is a good thing from Him, and intended for my enjoyment. I must believe and live out what His definition of a gentle and quiet spirit is, for in that there is His intended joy and peace for me.

I feel it has become too common to say, “But men are not…”, ” what if you are… and he is not…” “I saw how my mum suffered…”(on this one it is ironic that in other areas of our life, past sufferings push us to seek success or to avoid mistakes, but with marriage it causes us to draw back and lose faith), “marriage doesn’t work,” and an endless list of pointing finger statements. What happened to “God said it, I believe it and that settles it.”  Why is He right when it comes to other principles (especially money-making), and not when it comes to marriage? So in these few paragraphs, I choose not to give me and you
a room for excuses, for we have tried that way. I am not unaware that there are those who have and still faithfully believe, obey and live as the woman God would have them be in marriage and it still goes all wrong. My heart bleeds for these and counsel and pray with these. But I will not allow the rest of us to use that as an excuse, to with our own hands, tear down our houses (proverbs 14:1).

Woman of God, daughter seeking after Christ’s own heart it is your responsibility to seek out what God’s design is for you as a wife now and in the future, and to obey, even when it seems to go 180 degrees contrary to popular culture. God is faithful He will build up our marriages into what He intends them to be, He will keep and sustain us and the wonderful men He brings into our lives. And marriage will once again become the beautiful, joy filled relationship He intended it to be at the garden of Eden. For His word is not a fairy tale, His word is truth and it is life. He who gave us salvation, is joy in  marriage too big for Him.

I love you and pray that His love will be the mighty undercurrent that drives your relationships. And that with every passing day the excuses we lay out for not playing our part in obeying Him, will decrease and pass away altogether.

Much love and blessings to you.

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